Saturday, October 31, 2009


Friday night we went to a Halloween Festival at my Mother-In-Law's church. Rosalyn and Tyson had a blast. I love this pic of the two of them. Look how Rosalyn is looking at Tyson. She just adores him. Tyson was "Dash" from the Incredibles. Rosalyn was the sweetest little kitten I've ever seen....

Halloween was spent at Cindy and Ken's house- eating Chili and enjoying time with Kyle's grandparents. Then we took the little ones trick or treating around their neighborhood. Riley Beth was a LadyBug....And Rosalyn and Tyson- so as not to be seen in the same outfit twice- went as a pumpkin and Thomas respectively.


Friday night I met up with Kyle's best friend, Gary (or as we like to call him- THE SWOFF) along with his girlfriend Katie and her wonderfully charismatic and energetic friend, Mikey.

We drank- we laughed- we made a mess of inappropriate jokes- and I have to say- we connected. I'm not sure what kind of energy was flowing in that smokey atmosphere but it was a good one. Very potent in the positivity- a lot of love looming around. As my kin folk in The SC would say- them's good people....

It's really, really nice when you sincerely like your husband's best friend. We had our own moment last night when he shared with me that there are two women in his life that he trusts as far as opinions on the lady in his life. His mother and me. What do you say to that? Gee- thanks? That's a compliment- no, that's an honor not be taken lightly. I was floored. Well, Mr. Swafford- My opinion is this- SHE is simply lovely- a woman with more depth and perception than anyone I have met in a very very long time. She deserves happiness- give it to her.

Gary and Katie are in love-and they carry an energy between them that is palpable and dare I say- magnetic. Who knew a moment caught with the camera would confirm that so well.

The funny thing is- I would say the same thing about Katie and Mikey- And so as not to confuse anyone, Mikey is gay but wow- the chemistry between these two is nothing short of beautiful.

I would say that Katie and I are finding our own connection and it's comforting. We are very much alike and talking to her is a little easier than it should be. I'm considering firing my shrink.

Thanks for a great night you guys!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

State of the Union

I figured every now and again I would use this blog for some legitimate purpose. So I came up with this "State of the Union" post just to let everyone know what the heck is going on with us. Could prove to be too much information but no one has ever accused me of being shy. And if you continue to read beyond this point- then, thanks in advance for caring.

Riley Beth, as I have come to know her, is 8 months old today. If time continues to fly by as quickly as it has these last few months, then she'll be asking for a cell phone and $300 jeans in no time and I vow to say no to both. She is officially fat- as she should be-and her temper rivals that of... well, me. She loves to watch Tyson do anything and everything and I can only imagine she's quietly plotting to one day destroy him and those damn trains. I'm sure she will do a good job. She is right on target with her growth and development and is in like the 400th percentile for head circumference. Her two bottom teeth have come in- she is sitting up (despite her bucket head),and is on the verge of crawling. I might have to up my meds when that happens. She is babbling and cooing more than ever and occasionally screaming at the top of her lungs for no apparent reason. So she has her turret test next week. She also waved bye-bye the other day, to her daddy. And there's nothing I can say even remotely funny or smartass about that, because seeing that for the first time is just pure joy. I still can't believe I have a little girl.

Tyson "The Warrior" Warner is a happy, bouncing, bi-polar 5 year old. One minute, he's the most calm, pleasant little boy you could ever hope to be around. The next, he is climbing on top of furniture threatening to cut off his own testicles. I'm just not sure where I went wrong! He still loves Thomas but Handy Manny, the Bernstein Bears, and Mickey Mouse are all running a close second. He's also into Pete's Dragon, which is a full circe moment for me. I remember very vividly as a child, listening to that soundtrack on an old 45 record in my room. So when we sing those songs together in the car- that's a pretty awesome experience. He's in his second round of swimming lessons and is doing pretty well. He is not in kindergarten this year- he missed the cutoff date by 5 days. We had decided that he would not have gone anyway, as we feel that another year to prepare would serve him and his future teachers better. He's a very caring little boy and is really learning the art of empathy. Despite my many jokes, I'm very proud of who he is and can't wait to see who he continues to grow into.

My sweet, amazing, wonderful husband is still working hard to conquer the sandwich universe. He and his business partner, Damon, are about the open another store in Maryland Farms. For those of you that don't know, Maryland Farms is a large business community in Brentwood. Lots of hungry business people=successful store. And a beautiful one at that. It's an all brick, free standing two story building with outside patio seating. It's been a stressful ride getting there, but we are all very excited for its grand opening. He continues to cheer on his beloved MTSU Blue Raiders, claiming still that they are going to win the national championship... one day. He has suffered a skyscraper of a heartbreak when "The Signature Tower" project was axed and has weathered a rough few months with someone I won't mention specifically; let's just say her name starts with a "B" and ends with "randy". He has done it with love, compassion and last minute business meetings but I can't say I blame him for needing to get out every now and then. He is the love of my life and everyday I wonder what I did to deserve him.

Me-Myself-and I- are all hanging in there and getting along with each other pretty well. I am working a whopping 10 hours a week from home- still with the Bright Horizons Foundation for Children. I love my job and seriously can't ever imagine parting ways with it. My hope is that once this horrible swine flu thing dies down, I can put the kids into a Mother's Day Out program so I can have the option of going into the office or into the bars. Whichever I come across first, I guess. I haven't lost a single ounce of this stupid baby weight but that's no one's fault but my own. I have however made other changes which should hopefully result in people wanting to be around me more. I am officially on medication and will begin seeing a shrink in early November. I have issues, people- in case you didn't know. I spend a lot of my free time searching online for houses we can't afford and daydreaming about the day that we move from downtown. In the meantime, I have perfected my best "gun in the coat-pocket" impression to scare off any would be intruders. I've almost got it down, except now I have to constantly wear a coat and that's a pain the ass in bed. I can't win for losing. I have discovered Kings of Leon and recently went to a concert. It was exactly the religious experience I was hoping it would be. I continue to swoon and go ga-ga over the Twilight Saga. New Moon comes out in theaters in less than a month and you better believe I'm going to be right in there with all those kids. I'm preparing my best squeals just to prove I can hang. Oh and I have a birthday coming up soon- 33- ye-freakin-haw.

We're looking forward to the holidays- seeing friends and family and eating a lot. We're all very good at that. And we can't wait to see what 2010 has in store. I think everyday Kyle and I look at our little family unit and still shake our heads in disbelief. "When did this happen?" we often say, "Aren't we still 24 years old??" Definitely not 24 anymore and we wouldn't want to be. We are at the place we've been trying to get to all along. And what a remarkable place it is......

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

It's Just What I Do

Sticking my foot in my mouth- at this point in my life, I am damn good at it. If there was an award for most awkward moments ever in the history of history, I would win hands down- or feet down- every single time. I am the grand poo bah of inappropriateness- the vice prez of verbal mishaps- the big wig of blunders. The funny thing is- is that I've always thought that I was a very socially and self aware person. But somehow- conversations and circumstances converge and there I am in the middle of it- making a complete ass of myself. It's just what I do.

Back during my party days at Clemson, my friends and I would frequent a bar appropriately named "Flashbacks". I guess after that much alcohol in a span of 4 years, flashbacks and herpes are about the only two things that ever really stay with you. So there was always this guy there, sitting behind the bar. Everyone called him Bean. I knew nothing about this man except for the fact that he was there- always sitting in the same spot- drinking, laughing and just being a really fun and jovial guy. One night the bar closed and a group of us were sloshing about around the entrance and out walks Bean. He was stumbling and fumbling and I- in my best Miss Teen South Carolina voice- yell "Look at your drunk ass, can't even walk". My friend took a gigantic gulp of air and grabs my arm- twists me around and proceeds to tell me that Bean was not drunk. He was severely injured in a car accident some years ago. He was crippled. I will pause here to allow you to take a moment.

Now that you've absorbed that horrific scenario, I will say that I'm not entirely sure he heard me. Still- the thought of that moment prompts the vomit reflex- even to this day. But oh, don't you worry, there is more.

Not too long ago, Kyle and I went to look at homes in a new subdivision out in Nolensville. We turned into this cookie cutter clutter of homes, each one built to only "slightly" look like the other and immediately noticed this random white farm house stuck smack in the middle. It was just weird and very out of place. Despite the eerie Amityville vibe the house gave, we were moderately interested in finding out more about the neighborhood and decided to visit the model home. It was a Sunday afternoon, so we had the model lady all to ourselves. We took extra time to look around being sure to ask the appropriate questions and she was very accommodating. She laughed at our jokes, she played with our kids and she knew her stuff. She was specifically knowledgeable of the land, how it was acquired and the process of it's development. I saw a window and decided to ask in my most real housewife of Atlanta voice- "What's with the creepy old white house stuck in the middle?" To which our new friend responds, "Oh, that's my house. My husband and I have lived there for 8 years " Oh, did I say creepy? I meant charming. Eh Ehhmmmm... we'll be going now....

This is of course not to mention other times like when I screamed a very graphic sexually suggestive sentence to my new boyfriend, Kyle, on the staircase of his mother's house. Only to realize that his entire family, whom I had only met hours before, heard every word. Or the many times I have been with Kyle as we have checked out in a Kroger, Best Buy, or Pier One and an item rings up LESS than the original listed price. For some reason I feel this is a good time to work on my Karma and I instinctively decide to tell the clerk. As a result, Kyle shoots a glare toward me that would make Marilyn Manson piss in his pants. What? Is honesty not always the best policy?

I've done the "When are you due" thing only to be told "I'm not pregnant"... several times. I've forgotten friends alibi's when I'm supposed to be covering for them. And I've made plenty of faux pas in regards to the "does my butt look fat in these pants?" question. Your butt looks fine but what about your cankles?

Trust me, if there is a situation where toes are required to tickle the tonsils, I've been there and done that and I have mastered them all. Try not to be jealous.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch Changes.......

Decided to go Brown- Very slowly getting used to it but I think I'll really like it. It's funny how much a change with your hair can change so much more. I feel revived- a little more daring- and now I can wear RED lipstick. Probably most excited about that!
My hair colorest is Brie at Salon FX- Go see her- She is amazing!!!

Monday, October 5, 2009

A Good Marriage

"A good marriage must be created.
In marriage the little things are the big things...
It is never being too old to hold hands,
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day,
It is never going to sleep angry,
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives,
It is standing together and facing the world,
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family,
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways,
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget,
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow,
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful,
It is not only marrying the right person, it is being the right partner."

-excerpt from "The Art of a Good Marriage by Wilferd Arlan Peterson

Two years ago, on this day, Kyle and I were married. During the ceremony, these words were read aloud by Kyle's grandfather, Don Clayton, to 140 of our closest friends and family. Who better to read these words than a man that has been married to the same woman for more than 60 years. Other than being officially declared "Mr. and Mrs. Brown" for the first time , this was my favorite part.

I remember standing there and making a concerted effort to hear these words- to absorb them into this new view of the world from that moment on. I was marrying my life partner. There was nothing that I wanted more in that moment and nothing since that moment, than to give this union the utmost respect, to always put it first and above all else- just to get it right and keep it that way. I make it a point to read these words at least once a week. It puts me back in my place when other, less important issues, begin clouding my eyes. I love my husband more than any other human being on this earth- yes, even our children. I believe that's the way it is supposed to be. Our relationship doesn't always come first- that continues to be a work in progress- but we're getting better.

"It is standing together and facing the world"- this line floors me every time. When I think of how scary life can be- the unexpected peering just around the corner- tragedy waiting to erupt at a time when we're most content; the grueling gnawing in my stomach is eased more than I can explain just knowing that I won't have to face anything without my husband. He is strength beyond anything I have ever known. He is my keeper of cool and my sanctuary of solidity. He is my rock.

I can't begin to describe my excitement and anticipation for the years to come- always being careful, however, not to dream away the present. Here we are two years into holy matrimony and I wonder how it can get any better- but with a full understanding that it most certainly will. So here's a look back at our beautiful wedding- where it all started- if only officially and legally. And a big Thank You to my husband for making it the most magical day of my life.

Enjoy a few of my favorite pics- courtesy of Kate Crafton Photography.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Writing It Down- A series of memories and musings that you'll just have to endure

I have to admit- I'm feeling a little Carrie Bradshaw"ish" at the moment. As I write this I am cuddled in a blanket (my grandmother's no less-how's that for flair?) sitting outside on our bedroom balcony; drinking wine and enjoying our amazing view of downtown. Truthfully I am freezing my ass off but the cold air has kind of kick started the creative flow... and lately I've needed something! So... sorry for the lack of posts lately. Thanks for checking back.

This is what does it.
This is what fuels the torrid love affair I have between residing in City OR Suburbs...
Pro's and Con's? Yes, I did that. There are 22 pros to living in the city. There are 22 pros to leaving it. So obviously that was an hour of my life I'd like to have back... But the reality is- Is that I love living in the city. *LOVE IT*- looooove it- like how you love a pair of super unnecessarily expensive shoes or how you love that one really great picture of your butt that you kind of want to put on your Facebook profile but don't because you'd still be "that" girl. ehh ehmmm..... But in all seriousness, the city represents an extreme amount of growth in my life. For me, this city is a personal accomplishment.

No, Nashville is not New York- it's not Chicago. It doesn't have quite the allure of granduer that other larger cities can boast. And that's ok- it's a big city with a small town feel (which is probably the most overused cliche' ever when describing Nashville but it's very true, nonetheless). There is a pulse among the avenues that feed the fires of love, appreciation and respect for all things music. You can feel it. I miss having music in my everyday life; maybe more than I even know myself. But just being close to it fills some kind of void and it's comforting, you know? There's something about having that right at your fingertips- walking out your front door and it being right in front of you. It's just a different view of the world. This view feels aesthetically alive and emphatically established. And in some crazy twisted metaphor-that's the same thing I continue to search for within myself.

So we've been looking at houses in the suburbs. Obviously there's the "getting more house for our money" argument. And I will say-it is becoming a strong argument at that. Then, there's the school situation which is turning out to the be the front-runner. What parent doesn't want their child in the best schools possible? There's the land and the smell! OH, the smell! The smell of the city and the smell of... well, anywhere but the city- is like night and day. I miss the smell of grass. I miss seeing stars. Forget the big dipper- the only thing I see is the orange glow of the Hustler Hollywood Adult Store sign. Which by the way, I can't tell you how many times we have driven by those very revealing store front windows and Tyson takes quick notice. Lately I have had to explain that... "No, baby, none of your friends will be wearing that on Halloween." Sheesh. Oh and dead things on the side of the road- I miss that too.....

But then- there it is again. The buzz of the metropolis- People are celebrating- they are congregating- merriment in groups. The static of the interstate- People are moving- they have a destination - a purpose. It's addictive and being out here right now is reminding me to remember it. So as a promise to myself to never again rely on my low-performing memory cells for any sort of nostalgia, this is me "writing it down".

There will be more to follow....
Thanks for letting me ramble.
Life is funny. Sometimes it's the complete opposite. This is my best attempt at trying to capture it all...