It never ends

I don't understand why the paparazzi can't leave my family alone. I mean, follow me all you want but can't they leave my unsuspecting love ones out of the firestorm?



We're not a circus show, you know. We just want to be treated like normal people!!!!!!!!!!

Greenway

Just wanted to share a few pictures from our weekend. We spent a majority of it running and walking along miles and miles of Greenways. It's so beautiful! I love my city. I love my family...

And In The Category Of...

"How to quickly piss off your HOA"



The Winner is....

And no, this is not the brainchild of a woman- this is a single guy who lives right behind us. We always thought he was a little off... But now it has been confirmed.

My children have been firmly instructed to stay away.

Just a little something to brighten your day....

I received this uplifting little message from a someone going door to door in my neighborhood recently. I mean, really? WTF???

There is so much I could but will not say.

I'm Searching For My Thing

Being a wife and a mom of two leaves little room for much else. And now I am working a few hours a week from home and officially tapping into an empty pool. I'm beat and tired and more stressed out than my wonderful life could ever justify. But I am still searching... I am searching for my thing.

I secretly dream about finding a thing that is the entire and whole definition of me. The act of a thing, as in a verb, not a noun, that is only about me. It is my personal mountain to climb and conquer. And the cherry on top would be if others in my life enjoy the results. This has nothing to do with anyone else. Being a wife and mom is not my thing- it is my life. It is my reason for being. Your thing should not be your reason for living- it should only add to the experience. My family will always come first- just so that is clear. But then there's my thing.......

I've had several things in the past but none of them ever reached full "thing" status. They were more like little blips or blurbs along the way. They came, they went... they served a short term purpose but were not my thing. At one point some might have said that singing was my thing. I think it came close, and I semi-chased the dream that might have catapulted me into another stratosphere of things. But it didn't happen and to be honest, it wasn't the end of the world. I learned a very valuable lesson in this process. I was good, but I wasn't good enough. And that was ok...

Some may say that now writing is my thing and I'm still open to this possibility. But my writing is in the same boat with singing. There is much to improve upon. At this very moment, I am eager to keep working on it. But that's not to say that it won't change in two weeks when my creative winds shift and the bubble bursts.

I want a thing that I get really really good at. Something that might teeter on obsession but in a healthy, very appropriate way. After my family priorities, I want to devote what little energy I have left to something that makes me proud of me. I want to be known for my thing- I want others to see my thing and think... "What's my thing? Where am I putting my energy?"

I have an idea for my thing but I admit that I am hesitant to share it with the three of you that read my blog. Hesitant because if I write it, it has the potential of becoming something else that I didn't do. Another thing that had wings but just never got off the ground. But there's a fire in me that I can't ignore and I desperately want to explore it's intensity. My motivation is strong. My new thing will be for me, yes. But the results would greatly benefit the three people that are most important to me. My new thing would allow me to find comfort in the fact that I did what I could do- if the universe had other plans, well, I can't compete with that. But I would know that I controlled what was in my control.

So I'm going to leave it at that- Maybe I won't announce it- Maybe I'll just try it without the pomp and circumstance and see where it takes me. And if it develops into a full fledge thing, others will notice. But if it doesn't... then well, I guess the search goes on........

Steve McNair

Death- It is the ultimate given. No matter what happens in your life, in anyone's life, you know that eventually, you will die. It's certainly not the most pleasant fact to focus on but it is the truest truth we know. So it leaves us to question, when we hear of someone dying, what happens from here? What does it mean now that this person no longer lives on this earth? For those left to ponder, I don't think an answer ever really comes.

So he played football- Was that his greatest contribution? Is that the legacy he leaves behind in Music City? What about his extensive Charity Work? Will that be what people choose to remember about Steve McNair? Or will the scandal surrounding the circumstances of his death overshadow it all? I can really only speak for myself.

When I first moved to Nashville and began the "getting to know you" portion with my new home, the Tennessee Titans certainly proved to be a large part of that process. I had come from a place that offered only college football for my pigskin fix. This NFL thing was quite new but very enticing to me. I had heard stories of the "Music City Miracle" and I admit that I was somewhat envious of those who had committed themselves before me. Kyle and his Dad were there to witness it firsthand and to this day, I still love to hear them tell the story. So it was automatic. Nashville was my home, the Titans were my team. Steve McNair was the glue that held it together.

And now he is dead. Shot to death in the same downtown neighborhood that I once called home.

It is a strange feeling to mourn the passing of someone that you never met, but felt like you knew so well. You begin to question why you feel so affected by his death. Why does it hurt this way? I imagine it's in large part because he considered Nashville home, and we, as a collective being, loved and admired him not only as a leader for our home team but as a patron of our beloved city. Even after playing 2 seasons with the Baltimore Ravens, ironically a known rival to the Titans, he was still our guy. I suppose, especially now, it will always be that way. So I will choose to remember the good and the hope that he represented for our city. I choose to remember him as an amazing football player who even when he was hurt, got up, laced his shoes and played his heart out for every fan in that stadium.

The biggest shock to me this afternoon was realizing that Steve was only 36 years old. Thirty-six. Only three years older than myself. In the world of professional football, he was old, tired, injury ridden and just, done. But in reality, he was incredibly young and vibrant. So much life left laid out before him. Now his children will never get to appreciate him the way that it was intended. They will never understand the joy and wisdom of an elderly man reminiscing on his glory days. "That time I took a trip to the Superbowl"...

Instead they will only hurt because he is gone. What a loss. What a sad, horrible and tragic loss.........

Random Nice Things About Other People...

This is a picture of my left big toe. And I must add that the only reason I have this picture is because I was pretty proud of my first major running battle scar. So I documented it. I began amping up my running schedule a couple of weeks before our beach trip and then one day it's like, "Oh hey...um, my entire left big toenail just fell off... Cool". I think I may have saved it somewhere too. Is that weird?

But I digress....

This is also a picture of my left big toe. Otherwise known as my best friend, Heather. Meaning, if I were to ever lose her, I would have to learn how to walk again. Perhaps a little on the cheesy side, yes, but that's just how we've always described it. But it is true. I have lived a lot of life with her and she is a big part of who I have become.

We don't talk as often as I'm sure both of us would like but I know she reads my blog. So I wanted to take a minute to be sure she knows how special is and that that I miss her everday...